McCain security detail removes sole black reporter from event. At least nine feared dead on K-2. Obama fights for Florida and Michigan's right to party. Oh, Joe, you wild card, you! 7-year-old Round Rock boy makes film debut. Abducted Austinites rescued in Dallas. Scientist finds world's smallest snake, which is as thin as a spaghetti noodle, and probably as dangerous....

Forget the old Monica scandal, what about this new Monica? She's way worse. Military reverses itself, admits to killing innocent Iraqi commuters. Blackwater: the friendly face of your local small business? In what sounds like it should be a political no-brainer, Congress agrees to ban nasty toxins from kids' toys. Remember when you swore you'd quit smoking when they invented a functional jetpack? Get your gum ready... Christopher Nolan gets all modest on us.......

John McCain: Orphanages better than homo parents. Drunk British women go on airplane rampage. Media tougher on Obama than McCain? Bombs strike Turkey. More bombs in India. Gunman strikes church. Old rich guys in spaaaaace!......

Holy $155 million, Batman! Obama kicks it with Karzai. Speaking of Obama, Maliki likes how he thinks. Treasury Secretary: "Hold on bitches, it's gonna get worse!" US and Iran: The new Paris and Nicole? Probably not. But they are talking. Dolly. Now more than just a cloned sheep or kick-ass country idol. It's hot. Surprise. ...

Israel swapping prisoners with Lebanon. After nine soldiers were killed there earlier this week, American troops leaving remote outpost in Afghanistan. House Minority Leader Boehner keeps saying there is no wildlife in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, but there, like, totally is. Shocker: Consumer prices went up in June. Global warming may increase kidney stones, ick. Did you stay up last night to watch the longest All-Star game ever? "9 to 5" musical to......

Banks falling like dominoes. OMG sign of the judgment bleargh! Oh, crap. Bush to Israel: I'd hit that shit. But maybe you better. Mediterranean Union created. Luxurious! Democratic leadership also wants to cut someone's nuts out. Brangelina buns no longer in oven. Is it still a scandal if no one is surprised? Also scary: ‘I’m Learning To Get Online Myself, And I’ll Have That Down Fairly Soon’...

Jesse Jackson caught on a hot-mic wanting to cut Obama's nuts off. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Loves Photoshop! Men At Work signs taken down in Atlanta because women work too. Marine able to watch his son being born--thanks to webcam. Carla Bruni's new album gets hot and heavy over Sarkozy. A grandma known for growing 'extremities' using herbal remedies and Islamic prayer has died. McCain doesn't want to talk about Viagra.......

Athletes, take your oxygen masks: pollution levels aren't looking that great for the Beijing Olympics. G8 leaders pledge to cut in half the amount of greenhouse emissions by 2050. Earthquake this morning hits southern Peru. Church of England is now allowing female bishops. Alcohol abuse becoming more prevalent in vets of Afghanistan and Iraq wars. The military wants to help shape the form of the modern war movie (but don't call it censorship). Segregation......

More troops are now dying in Afghanistan than in Iraq. Think we suck a lot of energy now? Just wait 'til 2030. "Foreign policy expert" McCain mixes up African countries - easy ones, too. Amsterdam cafes can only roll pure Js from now on. All right, all right. Gas prices taking a bite out of live music (praise the Lord we live in Austin). Will actors accept this deal? According to a French mag,......

Hip-hop/spoken word artist Shannon Leigh was in a cave-diving accident two weeks ago in Florida. She is in a coma in a Florida hospital. NRA goes on a spree. Republican party "much more open to strong women." Questionable election results not just an American phenomenon. Desperately seeking real news. Fox News losing lead. Some Anglicans ask the question, "Who would Jesus disenfranchise?" Read this headline twice....

Conspiracy buffs, bookmark this one: McCain advisor admits that big terrorist attack on the US would help his guy... Meanwhile, McCain's Vietnamese captor (who's a big fan) says that he was never tortured in the Hanoi Hilton. James Hansen, who talked about global warming before practically anyone, wants to put CEOs on trial for lying about climate change. Gas prices are hard on everyone, even the po-lice. Don't worry, everyone - the economy may......

After the opposition party leader dropped out of the "run-off" in Zimbabwe, the party's headquarters were targeted and the leader is trying to seek refuge at the Dutch embassy. UN finally acknowledges rape as a war crime. EU imposing financial sanctions on Iran. Ferry from the Phillipines carrying 800 passengers overturns in a typhoon. Obama has campaign advisors with strong ties to the ethanol industry. The national economy may be headed downhill, but Houston's......

Mississippi river levees burst north of St. Louis. The NASA Phoenix Mars Lander may have discovered ice crumbs. Google launches new space race to the Moon. Bush totally thinks he has done a kickass job. McClellan doubts Bush knew about CIA leak. Condo company unwraps plan for clothing-optional pool. Bikini-clad Cambridge student arrested for attacking spectator at jelly-wrestling match.......

Lesbian couple of 55 years to be the first in line today in San Francisco to get married. Honda starts commercial production of hydrogen-powered cars. Obama spoke about fatherhood at a church yesterday. The Odd Couple: British PM Gordon Brown and Dubya say they understand each other. After the untimely death of Tim Russert, what's next for "Meet the Press"? Keith Olbermann thinks he is a serious newsman, others disagree. "In the Heights" wins......

Zimbabwe's military deeply involved with Mugabe's re-election campaign. Flooding this week a "historic hydrological event" in Iowa. Study finds that female veterans don't receive the same quality of treatment as males at VA facilities. Oops: Chief judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit Alex Kozinski, currently presiding over an obscenity trial, posts p*rn-type content to his personal website. Reaction to a story on the first integrated high school prom in......

A Belgian company has bid on Budweiser. A building housing a nuclear reactor in Kansas was hit by a tornado. The US Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the Guantanamo detainees. Congressman v. Blogger Before you head to China for the Olympics, their government would like you to know a few things . . . And you thought Austin had a mansion problem? This 5-year old has become the youngest tattooer in the......

Just one more reason to wait for your locally-grown tomatoes. Seen the YouTube clip where McCain lets it be known that he thinks Vladimir Putin is doing a great job as president of...Germany? The Kooch is at it again. Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones redefine "classy." Teachers in Japan are facing down an attack of "monster parents." (Nobody wanted to make a joke about "Godzilla parents"?) Got an iPhone last year? Apple is making......

Last night, Clinton and Obama had a quiet meeting at Sen. Feinstein's home. Mother to Son: 'Obama Proved Me Wrong' Increase in unemployment rate is the highest since 1986. Senate Republicans filibuster a global warming bill that McCain says he would support. The news from Zimbabwe is not improving: now police have stopped the opposition candidate from campaigning. Coco Wang's comic strips on the earthquake's damage to China. The rain in Spain stays mainly......

At least two are killed in Manhattan crane collapse. Chinese battle against time to drain quake lake. Vatican sends threat over women priests. Dollar gains on US growth data, easing oil prices. Special needs child voted out of kindergarten class. Isolated tribe spotted in Brazil. Merry Clinton knocks back whiskey on campaign plane.......

Chinese officials may bend the one-child rule for those who lost a kid in the quake. Mexico's government is giving $$ for food to its poorest citizens. More accusations out today that some international aid workers abuse those they are trying to help. Pot crops may be worth $14 billion to California's economy. Police and FBI are in the process of infiltrating Minnesota potlucks RIGHT NOW. Actor/director Sydney Pollack, of "Tootsie" and "Out of......

The Colbert Report it ain't. FOX News jokes about assassinating Obama. Hill still all, "Oops my bad." Tornadoes seriously screwing up holiday weekend in central states. The Phoenix has landed. Anti-gay website decides gay marriage and Nazi sympathizing not totally the same thing. Shoe found near Lake Travis with "possible human remains inside." Hungry famous people Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson spotted together at the Hula Hut with kids in tow.......

Austin downtown condo market healthy and rising? Bill Clinton pushes Hillary for Vice President. Crane collapses at Kansas City-area power plant. Russia and China condemn U.S. missile shield plan. Bollywood SAS sex scandal: Actress Tania Zaetta threatens to sue Australian government. Teacher jailed for sex with student. Texas police chief accused of sex with underage girl.......

China plans to relocate 12 *million* people. President Bush is really, really sorry that some troops used a Koran for target practice. (Or, at least, he's sorry people found out about it.) Obama meets big crowds in Oregon (surprise, surprise). Spain's defense minister is changing diapers right now. Always wanted to be a newspaper reporter, or just feeling sad about the death of print? Try moving to India. Netflix to introduce a little box......

South African mob violence leads to the deaths of 22 immigrants. Here's a nice piece on Bush's current efforts to lower oil prices before the the U.S. Presidential election. U.S. soldier is refusing to serve in America's "illegal war." The latest science on sexual orgasms. Those of who commute on I-35 each day, take note. Lots of delays planned. UT just approved a new student activity center with a $69 million pricetag. That whole......

Strong aftershock causes more damage in China. Obama to speak out on Bush 'appeasement' charge. Austin Energy making progress, restoring electricity after recent storms. Woman indicted in MySpace suicide case. Detroit leaders move to oust mayor in wake of sex scandal. Hooker booker pleads guilty to money laundering and promoting prostitution in the federal probe that brought down former Gov. Eliot Spitzer. FIA president Max Mosley involved in a "sado-masochistic Nazi-style sex orgy" with......

Thousands and thousands and thousands of people are dead in China. McCain comes out in favor of carbon caps. Teenagers who smoke pot are likely to be depressed later on, gov't says. Biggest immigration raid of the year, at a meat packing plant, means hundreds are arrested. If Congress is banning flavored cigarettes, why aren't menthols part of the package? Could this be true? Man claims Jet Blue made him sit on a toilet......

Earthquake in China is thought to have killed thousands of people in a county of the Sichuan province. Scientists say that atmospheric CO2 levels are at record highs. After a weekend of tornadoes through the midwest, this year could have the highest number of twisters since the '50s. ...

Junta allowing aid supplies to slowly come into Burma. Chinese team takes the Olympic torch up Everest. Oklahoma hit by severe storms. Campaign official basically admits that Clinton will be out of the race by June 15. American women waiting later and later in life to have their first babies. Vote for the best character on TV: c'mon, Olive Snook (or Liz Lemon)! What happens when gas costs over $7 per gallon?......

Indiana and North Carolina vote today. Saddam thought that he might get VD from the American guards in his prison. Never let anyone tell you that European news is sooo much more dignified than American news. They are currently fascinated by this Austrian father-daughter sex slave story (but who can blame them?) First Texas needle exchange program will not come to pass. Scientists have now found that being smart may not lead to evolutionary......