New Yorker Leona ("Queen of Mean") Helmsley seals her fate as a heartless biatch by leaving $12 million, the majority of her will, to her dog. Lindsay Lohan checklist: Coke possession. Check. Arrested. Check. Sex Scene? Check! With his last official day of work approaching this Friday, Karl Rove's car got Saran Wrapped and slapped with an I Heart Obama sticker. Straight out of the 18th century--drug dealer gets tarred, feathered while holding a......

In the mid 1980s, the US Senate (provoked by a high-powered busybody wives club called the PMRC) held a series of hearings on so-called “porn rock”—music containing lyrics about violence, sex, drugs, and the occult. The hearings were pointless but hilarious, providing a public venue for several old, rich, uptight assholes to make fools of themselves reciting lyrics from songs by prominent 80s rock bands. And though the hearings are probably best remembered for testimonies......

There’s some of that voting going on today. It’s pretty popular nowadays. All on the myspace and whatnot. Colbert. Ruining most of my cnn reading. Even dead people are doing it. Sometimes they’re rumored to be so excited, these dead people do it more than once! Craziness!...

On the menu today: Sizzling underwater action! Hot Art School brats! Delicious football soccer stars! Scrumptious teen empires! Delectable California Jews! Tasty foreign brides! Bon appetit! Poseidon We’ve said it before, and now we’re saying it again: Josh Lucas is the new Kevin Costner. Careful, Josh. Remember what happened after Kevin’s big “water” movie? Yeah. Nothing good. *Art School Confidential We didn’t go to Art School. We imagine it’s just like the stories say:......

Film and public radio fans rejoice; legendary Director Robert Altman (M*A*S*H, Nashville, Short Cuts) will open the SXSW Film Festival this March with the North American premiere of his new film “A Prairie Home Companion,” the feature-length adaptation of the wildly popular public radio presentation from original American voice Garrison Keillor. The premiere is a boon for the fest, which has establishied itself as one of the country’s premiere film festivals. The film, penned......