How much did the Emmys hosting by reality TV hosts suck last night? A. lot. Yay! Sentences can again include the words 'Britney," "Come," and "Back" again without grossing us out! OMG, hot torrid man-passion between Zac Efron and James Franco??? A cursory glance at this headline and you'll be saying, "Maybe." Are you kidding us? Because, "What? Eww, no!" OMGLOLZ I CAN HAZ ROFLRAZZI? KTHX! OMG EFF U MILEY RAY CYRUS! We're all about HEROES! (Please be good, please be good, please don't suck...) Wicked catchy headline we want to repeat in a sort of sing-songy lilt, over and over: O'Reilly Blasts Hackers, Hackers Hack Him Back...

Another week, another steaming batch of new movie releases. What’ll it be, folks? Big Momma’s House 2 Martin Lawrence, your pigeonhole is waiting for you. *Nanny McPhee The new Mary Poppins - only uglier, and with more children. Starring Emma Thompson and brooding hottie Colin Firth. Supposedly this movie is doing very well in the UK. We could make a joke about unattractive British people here, but we’re far too classy for that. Annapolis......