Elizabeth Berkley is Nomi Malone.... Showgirls 2.0 with David Schmader LiveThursday, November 29thAlamo LakeCreek (13729 Research Blvd)$12, 7:30PM[info] | [tickets]The holiday season really is the most wonderful time of year, a time where we think about family and togetherness, and most importantly, psychotic strippers. As always, the Alamo Drafthouse really understands what will make our season bright and are reaching into their magical holiday gift bag to pull out a screening of Showgirls for us,......

UN reports: Poorest people are most at risk through climate change. Dick Cheney's heart (ha) may be in trouble. In California, they drink sewage. Sort of. Russian hipsters carefully ignore Stalin, long for the good old days. Speaking as a nation wearing Native American t-shirts, we could teach them a thing or two about revisionist history... Living in the city makes your breasts denser. (This is not a metaphor, and it could be dangerous!)......

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Billy Joe Shaver's next lyrics aren't going to be about losing his wife, or his dog. He'll be singing a tune of self defense on the witness stand. Drop your dance partner and you could get sued. We suggest you start with trying not to step on her toes. Keith Richards can't keep anything out of his nose. Including his father. "Staring at women's breasts is as healthy as an hour spent at the......

And if it weren’t for his showing that he could sprout and thrive amongst such atrocious conditions, I might never have bothered to try and plant the little dude. But a week ago, I did. And in that week’s time he’s already grown an inch or so, valiantly flourishing amongst my blowing-trash-riddled, weedscaped lawn like it was the majestically sloping side of a nutrient-rich Norwegian fjord. ...

Alright, let's be honest with each other shall we? We just woke up from SXSW, and we're pretty sure you're all still hungover. That's why we're here, so that you don't have to strain your brain. So let's cut to the chase, and bust loose with the best of the last few week's Missed Connections... pornqueen, where are you? - m4w Hey pornqueen... what happened to you? Haven't talked to you in years! Drop......

Some people choose to spend their Halloween hopped up on the ol' boozendrugs, running dementedly through the warehouse district dressed up like Papa Smurf. Some like to go traditional, choosing to dress up and trick-or-treat with the kids. Others prefer to spend Halloween attempting to rekindle their youth my scaring the shit out of themselves with a horror movie. Tonight and tomorrow offer a bevy of some classics and one or two lesser-known gems guaranteed......

A small group of uber-rich political subscribers are reportedly giving about $10 million to Gov. Rick Perry's re-election campaign. As always, the people with the money make the rules. Kinky Friedman's proposed energy plan for Texas calls for 20% of the electricity in the state to come from renewable sources by 2020. Jack Carter, offspring of former president Jimmy Carter, won the Democratic nomination in the Nevada primary and will move on to face......

Democratic goobernatorial candidate Chris Bell is demanding that Carole Keeton Cougar Rylander Strayhorn return $29,500 she received from members of the Zachry Family, which owns Zachry Construction Corp. Zachry Construction is involved in a partnership to develop the first phase of the Trans-Texas Corridor, which includes 4,000-plus miles of tollways. What bothers Bell is that this is the same project that Strayhorn has spoken out against publicly. In other Grandma Cougar news: Kinky wants......

Bringing you the best of Craigslist: Missed Connections every week. Did you miss a connection? Perhaps you made our list of most amusing or interesting posts. There's only one way to find out: read on... Monkey Girl picking Kumquat We didn't even know it was kumquat season. Keep your eyes peeled to the tree tops for a possible connection. As it stands, this one was missed, but at least he got a fruit snack.......

What do we want? MOVIES! When do we want them? NOW! *Before the Fall An interesting film set in 1942 Berlin about an elite school where the country’s brightest young men were trained to be future members of the Nazi regime. Yeahhh, there’s just nothing funny about that. A Good Woman Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson and her breasts are everywhere, it seems. At least this movie finally answers the question, “What ever happened to......

W E D N E S D A Y [ 2 5 ] [music] St. James Inc, Hurts to Purr and Mike Blackhurst at Stubb's (8pm) [music] Akron/Family, Mi and L'au, Shearwater at Emo's [music] "Old Man Night," with skate videos, DJ Vomitnoise, free pizza from Slices and Ices, and special raffles and giveaways at Beerland [film] Screening of Fearless Freaks director Bradley Beesley's "Hill Stomp Holler," plus a set by John Schooley at......

A local developer is planning on building a new "Gentlemen's Club" (that phrase always kills us) around I-35 & Grand Avenue Parkway. But local residents are concerned that the new club would only bring "unsavory clientele" into the neighborhood, putting children at risk of drunk perverts. Come on, don't you folks already have high-speed internet? The die has been cast, we think. The intersection near the proposed topless club already has two titty-bars and......

-Lewis "Scooter" Libby evidently dabbled in a bit of fiction writing, his 1996 novel The Apprentice dubbed by The New Yorker as his "entry in the long and distinguished annals of the right-wing dirty novel." Consider the following tasty excerpt: "He could feel her heart beneath his hands. He moved his hands slowly lower still and she arched her back to help him and her lower leg came against his. He held her breasts......