January 8, 2007
Breaking: Downtown Shutdown, Dead Birds, Sick Cops
The Statesman is reporting some serious biz this morning. According to their sources several dead birds, roughly a dozen, were discovered around 3AM this morning in the downtown area. As a result Congress Avenue will be shut down from 11th St. to Cesar Chavez. Traffic is jammed, buses are late, and those working on this stretch of Congress will not be admitted to their offices until noon at the earliest.
A few police officers are also rumored to be illin'. No word yet on the cause. Whether it's Bird Flu, West Nile, Grackle Pox, or an angry kid with a BB gun, Austinist will be sure to post the latest developments.
Photo taken from flickr user Dan Phifer
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I guess the whole police force is sick, because there are no cops directing traffic around this clusterfuck.
Only austin could parlay something as basic as a few dead birds into a total shutdown of the central business district.
my day jobs austin branch is closed till the afternoon because of this.
They are letting people into their offices to my knowledge. Just don't bother the guys in the hazmat suits when you walk by them.
i KNEW this was gonna happen
New York also reeks of gas!
gothamist.com/archives/2007/01/08/maple_syrup_was.php
Clusterf*ck is correct. The entire APD force blocking streets, APD helicopter doing circles over downtown, dozens of businesses closed - all for a few dead birds? I think this is an elaborate Homeland Security drill.
The helicopter keeps circling over my building downtown. What's going on out there? Good thing I built a panic room under my desk.
Allegedly there was a press conference on this at 9:15. The Statesman has no info. Anyone know what was announced?
Man, if only there WAS a way to get those &#$%^ grackles signifigantly reduced in number! I'm not in favor of any sort of cruelty to animals, but for those flying vermin I'll make an exception.
on Comal Street, from East 4th Street to 160 feet north of East 4th Street, 400 block, east and west sides.
City, county, state and federal officials are investigating the deaths of 40 to 60 dead birds found along on Congress Avenue. Based on preliminary information, the Health and Human Services Department reports no immediate threat to the public’s health. As a precautionary measure, Congress Avenue has been closed from 11th Street to Cesar Chavez Street, with one block east and west of Congress in that vicinity also closed.
Reports of health issues involving two investigating police officers and a homeless person have proven false. No human illness connected to the bird deaths has been verified.
The birds are being tested to determine the exact cause of death. The public may call 3-1-1 with any concerns or questions. Follow-up tests will be done this morning.
If officials determine that the area is safe, Congress should be open again about noon today.
From a colleague:
Islamic terrorist birds slipped across the border early Sunday with WMDs targeting the Great American Grackel. Austin residents are deeply saddened by the deaths of its bird citizens. Texas Governor, Rick Perry, vowed to hunt down the terrorist birds even if they crossed the border into Oklahoma. Vice President Cheney volunteered to direct the hunt, but members of the Texas State Police and National Guard protested this based on concerns for the safety of their personnel.
So, somebody put out poisoned bird food and killed a bunch of grackles? Better call in the National Guard.
Sounds like a scene out of 24 Hour Party People, when the Ryder brothers poisoned the birds.
...it has become national news now: frontpage of Drudge, CNN, NY Times...
I was thinking the exact same thing as Mike.
Workers were testing for any sort of environmental contaminant or gas or chlorine leaks that might have cause the bird deaths, said police spokeswoman Toni Chovanetz. At least one bird carcass was being tested locally for other possible causes, and other carcasses were shipped to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Texas A&M University.
Valadez said the tests on the dead birds would likely take several days and look for signs of poisoning or viral infections, though he said officials do not think bird flu is involved.
http://cbs11tv.com/pets/local_story_008120838.html
reports coming out of A&M: "yep, they're dead."
thanks, fellas.
12:30 and still nothing's open.
Tell me the truth, doc. It's bird flu, isn't it? And I'm going to die, aren't I?
I've only noticed ONE bird flying in the downtown area all morning since I got to work.
I just went to lunch and we saw no birds as we walked from Brazos all the way past Red River. Not a single grackle hopping around like we normally see.
If birds are affected similarly to humans, I would at this point suggest they died of cedar fever.
SNAP! GRACKLE POX!
I hypothesize that some douchebag restaurant owner probably has a rat problem and threw out rat poison in an effort to kill the rats, not thinking that birds would eat it, too.
I'm with gack. I vote for hickory street.
I'm also going with poison. Some buildings have been known to put out poisoned feed to get rid of pigeons/grackles. If they did, they're secret's safe with me.
Heh. "Grackle Pox."
Were any of the birds exploded? Because the grackles around my neighborhood always sound like there's a warning siren going off, followed by an explosion.
You are all stupid zombies... do you think its a coincidence... nyc is also smelling something research bio chemical weapons idiots.
If it is chemical, do I get to wear one of those cool paper masks to shows?
The birds died from flying into a strike package of Aurora-class aircraft that were hovering over the area.
Go about your business.
D - Im sure that Austin is on the top of the terrorists list for attack. Screw NY, LA, Chicago, even freakin Atlanta. Therye going for Austin.
D - Im sure that Austin is on the top of the biochemical list for attack. Screw NY, LA, Chicago, even freakin Atlanta. Therye going for Austin.
The chemtrails were heavy today, Tuesday all over Austin
and the surrounding towns. We had to go get some fencing
material out at Burnet Texas, just north of Austin and the chemtrail spraying was heavy also. Starting chatting with the fence employee and he told me that the town had a record number of deaths over the last few days due to respiratory illness. He actually listed the people by name that had passed away, many of whom were parents or grandparents of the workers at the store Also, chatted with the checkout women and she mentioned her mother and grandmother were in to see the lung dr. this morning due to respiratory problems, they were having to take massive respiratory drugs to keep their lungs functioning. Then talkedto the fencing loader boy and he told me that his motherworked at the local hospital and it was really busy with respiratory problems. No one at the store had any idea aboutchemtrails, i asked them if they knew what they were. Seems like we got a problem here, yes?
With all the technology advances in the world today, we must consider the possibility of enemy surveillance having been performed by the birds. The medical examiners need to look for possible chip implants and camera equipment inside the birds. Maybe their eyes are actually camera lenses. Ever thought about that? Reaserch also needs to be done to see if anybody has discovered how to communicate with the birds. These birds could have been remotely commanded where to fly and film. Then, after all desired surveillance was performed, the mission could have been ended by remotely terminating the birds, and this could be why they are dead.
Another possibility is they could have been abducted by the Flying Saucers. One sign of abduction is surgery having been performed with unparalleled precision. The medical examiners need to examine the birds for any such surgery. This could be why they are dead.
It might also be a good idea to contact Area 51 to see if there have been any happenings with birds there lately.
End bird turds now!!!