We missed that whole “Black Friday” thing (post-traumatic stress symptoms related to a former life working retail), and the holidays are creeping up faster than a cheer-stealing Grinch in a dogsled. We’re sure that some of you, dear readers, find yourselves in a similar boat. But, before you start snapping up pre-packaged bath sets at Target, check out Austinist’s very special recommendations.

We’ve sorted through some of the sparkliest surprises available locally and on the internet to compile a guide for the gifting impaired. We’re forking over our top picks for everyone from film geeks to infants in hopes of helping ease the strain of the season. Sorry, but the gift wrap isn’t included. — Carly Kocurek

For the Cinephile

Do you know someone who has a DVD collection that requires cross referencing by monster type and body count? Did the same person invite you to a viewing party this past year of Kingdom of the Spiders starring William Shatner insisting everyone slug their beer with every tarantula casualty? Does the same person inevitably cause you to spend more time than reasonably necessary coming up with an X-mas gift idea, barring the less-than-thoughtful gift card to the local big box DVD store? Search no more. The film gurus over at Stomp Tokyo have compiled the perfect Saturday night companion for every film geek's secret shame. Appropriately titled Reel Shame: Bad Movies and The Hollywood Stars Who Made Them, it exposes the early career foibles of some of Hollywood's (now) biggest stars. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Defamer had a love child, this book would be it. You may want to check out the sample pages available online before you place your order. In keeping with the Stomp Tokyo's grading system, we give it five lava lamps out of five. Best of all, in the spirit of think globally, shop locally, these authors ship from far west. . . Far West Boulevard, that is. What!? You've seen a dog-eared copy of Reel Shame squeezed between your film-phile's VHS copies of Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster and The Giant Claw? No worries. The Stomp Tokyo store has other suitable fare for your B-movie cinephile. — Rebecca Reed

For those with a more high brow film palate or for those with cinematic aspirations of their very own, we might recommend a gift membership to the Austin Film Society. Memberships start at a measly 20 bucks, and include regular screenings by way of the AFS Essential Cinema Series, as well as discounts on other film-focused events around the city. And, if that weren't enough, they'll get a slick membership card to flash around at wine and cheese parties. It might not wow the ladies like that Star Trek Fan Club membership card, but, you know, it takes all kinds. — Carly Kocurek

For Your Favorite (Almost) Twentysomething

We saw the Small Stakes at last year's Flatstock during SXSW, and they were the most attractive screen printers we saw all festival. With artists including Sufjan Stevens, Iron & Wine and The Decemberists, their unique brand of poster art using music and pop culture iconography, all on a 19'' x 25'' poster for an average of $20. Perfect for decorating that dorm room or wallpapering that efficiency, these posters are a must have for most indie music fans or appreciators of clever contemporary art. — Patrick Dentler

For the more bookish, we might recommend something from History Shots. These prints hanging in your giftee's living room would make his or her history professor proud. The folks at History Shots have made learning cool and fun to follow with their original interpretation of historical events through eleven different "informational graphics" ranging from the History of Political Parties, Chronology Delineated or Genealogy of Pop & Rock Music. These posters cost no more than $40.00 and would appear best framed. — Patrick Dentler

For the Heart of Gold

You are likely to find something at Ten Thousand Villages (1317 S. Congress Ave.) to please the socially-conscious friend/relative/coworker in your life. Staffed by local volunteers, the store features fairly-traded items, such as clothing, handmade crafts and more. For your co-worker, you can purchase a planting (done by Austin's own Floribunda) in a handmade Nepalese terra-cotta elephant pot. For your environmentalist aunt, a nativity set made of recycled paper.

For the gourmet coffee fan on your list, Texas Coffee Traders (1400 E. 4th St.) only sells fair-trade and has many organic coffee blends to choose from. Their holiday special is the Blue Santa Blend (on sale for $9.75/12 oz bag); 100% of the proceeds from this blend go towards Austin's Operation Blue Santa.

If you'd rather give a gift in honor of someone this year, there are many worthy Austin-area non-profits to choose from: Any Baby Can, Austin Habitat for Humanity, Caritas of Austin and AIDS Services of Austin are just a few of them. See the United Way Capital Area site for a more complete list of local charitable organizations. — Elizabeth S.

For the Audiophile

Nothing screams "government major by day, axe-wielding shredmaster by night" like a self-produced album. Back in the day, musicians who wanted a hard copy of their tunes had to agree to indentured servitude, forced to do the bidding of sadistic cigar-chomping record executives until public interest had died out, at which point the poor, naive marionettes were abandoned. of course, since then, with the advent of the Tubes, things have changed significantly and the record industry is an egalitarian utopia stumbling over itself to throw money at even the lowliest bedroom noodlers. Not. This season, spare that special someone the inhumanity of being absorbed by a faceless media conglomerate, and buy them an M-Audio MobilePre home recording interface device. This bad boy doesn't require much oomph from your PC (also Mac compatible), even running well on the 14-year old HP Pavilion that all of us Austinists huddle around waiting to hammer out our posts. Finally, clocking in at under $200, its the cheapest, best sounding, and most user-friendly way to inscribe heart-wrenching paeans to your ex-girlfriend upon your hard drive. — Joshua Huck

Appeal to music maniacs and tech geeks alike with Squeezebox. The gadget lets users stream internet radio (including that super rad “yacht rock” station your cousin Lenny set up on Pandora) to the stereo. Squeezebox, available in any color you like, so long as that color is black or black and silver, starts at $249. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek

If you've got a format fetishist on your hands, help ease the switch from vinyl to digital with Digital Vinyl CD-Rs. The discs are grooved just like old-fashioned records, but they're ready for burning, and not in that “It's the devil's music” kind of way. A 10-pack complete with jewel cases runs $11.95. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek

An under-kitchen cabinet iPod and Shuffle stereo player will let your nearest and dearest crank the tunes while they kick it in the kitchen. The device not only saves space, but helps keep electronics out of harm's way. Get it for a cool $99 from iHomeaudio. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek

For the Crafty Foxes

Debbie Stoller, the quirky mind behind the Stitch 'n Bitch books, which have become contemporary crafting mainstays, unleashed an equally stylish tome dedicated to the fine art of crochet earlier this year. Stitch 'n Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker should make any of your yarn-loving friends or family members just pleased as punch. You might want to keep it away from great aunt Clara, though — you know how she feels about those kinds of words in the house. The book has a list price of $15.95 and you ought to be able to scoop it up at any major bookseller (and probably some of the minor ones, too). — Carly Kocurek

Hill Country Weavers (1701 S. Congress Ave.) is the local go-to spot for high-end fibers. While you could take the easy route and splurge on a skein or two of some luxe yarn (mohair, perhaps?) or perhaps pre-pay for a few lessons in lacework, basketry, or another specialized skill, we're going to recommend that you just go in for a gift card, and let the recipient pick from the wide range of offerings in this cozy South Austin shop. — Carly Kocurek

And, no listing of craftable gifts would be complete without a nod to the inimitable Jenny Hart. Hart's embroidery patterns, kits, and recent book are all great for giving. The patterns are easy enough for a beginner to master with a minimum of grief, and include designs ranging from fanciful unicorns to totally punk rock roller derby designs to delightfully tacky Vegas-inspired insignias. Order online, or pick them up locally at places including Parts & Labor and Women and their Work. Prices range from $3 for a single pattern set on up to $20-$30 for kits. — Carly Kocurek

For the Reader

With their word-filled pages and oft attractive covers, books really are a great gift idea. Whether for loved ones or the casual secret santa victim, you can rest assured that a book will let them know that you know they are literate, or at least that they are really good at faking it. Here are some bound treats -- suggested in earnest -- that can't miss this holiday season:

Worldchanging:A Users Guide for the 21st Century. From the folks at Worldchanging, this book is packed with goodness, no lie! Full of ideas geared to making the world a better place, Worldchanging is perfect for the bourgeoning activist or casual progressive among your friends or family. If you need quantifiable evidence: it's over 600 pages for under $40. What a ganga! Buy it! — Adam Rice

This Is Not Chick Lit: Original Stories by America's Best Women Writers. Editor Elizabeth Merrick brings together some amazing short stories from authors like Francine Prose, Christina Henriuez, and Curtis Sittenfeld. This Is Not Chick Lit is a thoughtful and provocative compilation, one of the best surveys of contemporary American women writers you'll ever find. For $13.95 it's a steal! Buy it! — Adam Rice

I Am An Idiot (but there's nothing wrong with you) by Craig McCullough. Looking for a little Austin flavor this holiday season? Need something to read to the kids before bed that's light-years less bizarre than this? Look no further: Austinist's own Truecraig has put together a jolly, heartwarming collection of personal anecdotes and insights just in time for the holidays. This little gem will run you $17.50 + shipping. Buy it! — Adam Rice

Any and All Things McSweeney's. Whether it's a subscription to The Believer or the Paul Collins edited English as She is Spoke, you are guaranteed to find something JR (just right) for the intellectual humorist or eccentric historian in your life, unless they are a jerk. If they are in fact a jerk, then it's time for aggressive re-education. Get to shopping: McSweeney's Store. — Adam Rice

For the Foodie

Paluani Pannetone We know what you're thinking: Seriously?  Fruit cake?  Trust us - this is different.  Available at Central Market, this $9.99 pre-wrapped foodie gift is delicious, lighter than your average fruit cake, and goes well with everything from eggnog to hot chocolate to whisky. — Sam Armstrong

Austin Slow Burn Habanero Jelly This Fiery Foods Show award winner isn't as scary as you might think.  Pour on softened cream cheese and serve with crackers.  $3-$4, available all over the damn place, from Central Market to Whole Foods Market to Grapevine Market to Faraday's ... — Sam Armstrong

For the Dirty Mind

(The links are work safe, unless your work is totally G-rated. We'd rate these between a PG and a PG-13.)

Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School is a burlesque/drawing mash up that started in New York and now has branches in fabulous locales like Austin. You can give a little bit of the magic with Dr. Sketchy's Rainy Day Colouring Book, jam-packed with paper dolls, coloring pages, cocktail recipes and other fun activities. A slick $20 gets the whole shebang. — Carly Kocurek

Austin artist Whitney Lee works in latch hook. Her renderings in yarn of scantily-clad women look almost pixilated, helping soften the visual punch of the borderline pornographic pictures. A few years ago, Lee started bringing her art to the masses via easy-to-use kits, letting almost anyone hook their way through a piece worthy of a peep show. Completed projects make for some lovely, lurid wall art. Kits range from $22 to $75, and for those who prefer to keep their gift offerings fit for polite company, a number feature tasteful portraits of folks like Austin crafter extraordinaire Vickie Howell. Kits are available through Lee’s web store. — Carly Kocurek

For the bookslut, we recommend Frederick Seidel’s latest work, Ooga-Booga. Seidel’s living a life of luxury, but this elder statesman of the poetry world has a tendency to write about things like, you know, sex in a way that’s both supple and seductive. His prose is far from purple, though, so you won’t need to stash this with your copy of 100 Strokes of the Brush Before Bed. — Carly Kocurek

For the Rug Rats

Give clever and tasteful onesies to the offspring of your favorite design snob. Graphic onesies by Hardboiled include lions, bunnies, and robots. Prices start at $24. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek

For those who like to kick it with old school Nintendo games, give the gift of life. Kits let kids of all ages grow their own 1up mushroom. For a piddling $8.99, you might splurge and give two — you never know when someone's going to fall down a chasm or something. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek

The Peanuts Holiday DVD Collection makes for fun movie nights. Set includes Christmas, Halloween and Thanksgiving specials for $42. If that's not enough, throw in Charlie Brown's Pathetic Christmas Tree for $24. — Paige Maguire and Carly Kocurek