Austinist loves Texas Roller Girls. This is our recent conclusion.

After our virginal experience a few weeks ago, it was in the cards for us to spend another evening with roller girls crashing into our laps and our jaws dropped (and stuffed with beer and pretzels).

We might be hooked.

And are we still smitten with Bunny Rabid?

You bet.

Last night's matches were close (at least we think they were close; we don't really understand what's happening most of the time. There were moments we thought the referees didn't know either. The announcers certainly had us riled up, regardless).

To the soundtrack of the night's DJ, Net Wt, the girls gave us quite the show with halftime entertainment courtesy of Rockland Eagles.

In the end, the Hotrod Honeys rolled over the Hustlers (49-34), and the Hell Marys are currently reciting Acts of Contrition for losing to the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, (29-47).

Speaking of spanking:

You know you are in Texas... No. You know you are in Austin when Billy Joe Shaver gets called on to participate on the SWAT team.

Let's talk about the SWAT team. At the beginning of the evening audience members may purchase a lottery ticket for a chance to be one of the lucky few asked to administer punishment to wayward roller girls. At what seems like the random discretion of the Punishment Princess, Hot Wheels, roller girls must slowly skate, bent over, past the line of paddle-equipped SWAT team members (although we watched a couple enthusiastic women on the team forego the paddle and opt for the open palm).

We defy you to find a better way to spend a dollar. (The money goes to charity, incidentally, as does most of the night's profit.)

They also have a Bunny. Swoon.

There is something about watching a schoolgirl pummel and humiliate some poor soul that brings back such fond memories of seventh grade.

Of course, by "fond" we meant "traumatic," and that "poor soul" was us.

"Hell Yeah."

If you'd like to learn more about getting your own bunny (albeit, sans skirt and fishnets), check out the Austin-based House Rabbit Resource Network.

Remaining Texas Roller Girl Schedule:
May 15 --> Hotrod Honeys vs. Honky Tonk Heartbreakers / Hustlers vs. Hell Marys
June 5 --> Honky Tonk Heartbreakers vs. Hustlers / Hell Marys vs. Hotrod Honeys
June 26 --> Hell Marys vs. Honky Tonk Heartbreakers / Hotrod Honeys vs. Hustlers
July 17 --> Hotrod Honeys vs. Honky Tonk Heartbreakers / Hustlers vs. Hell Marys
August 7 --> Championship!